Dear Client...

Dear Client, For the entire year that I represented you on your criminal cases, you were rude, unappreciative, loud, nasty, ignorant, uncooperative, unremorseful, unapologetic, and unwilling to accept the many plea offers made to you, which were beyond fair. The last time we appeared in court to finally take a guilty plea with a sentence of a few hundred dollars, you made it clear to me that you "ain't finna pay dat fine. See if they catch my black ass first." Well now here you are, leaving me a voicemail message that you were arrested on a warrant for nonpayment and you'll be looking for me in court to defend you. To that, I say kick rocks clown, I don't represent "yo black ass" anymore. -Good luck with that, PD

Dear Client...

Dear Client, If you think that cursing and complaining just loud enough for the court officers to hear you about how long it's taking to see the judge is going to get them to call your case any faster, then by all means, my brother, kept right on cursing and complaining. I'll just let you know now that not only does it make you look ignorant, but I'm sure the officers took the time to find out who you are and make sure your case gets called dead last. I mean, that's what I would do. Sincerely, PD

Dear Client...

Dear Client, If you at 23 years old are going to be living in your mother's house, not working or going to school, when your mama tells you to get out of bed and hook the XBox up for your lil brother, get your ass up and do it. Don't start arguing with her and breaking stuff or you will get arrested and put out. - PD

Dear Client...

Dear Client, You made it quite clear that you think the D.A.'S offer of 90 days in jail for ticket scalping is "out of line". What's out of line, sir, is your 2 felony and 31 misdeamenor convictions. Living a life of crime is "out of line" and so is getting loud and rude at me when I'm merely trying to explain to you why the D.A. wants to offer you jail time. Jerk. -Your PD

Dear Client...

Dear Client, the fact that you've called me at least 5 times since this morning does not mean we are now familiar enough for you to refer to me as "hun", "sweetie", "babe" or my first name. I'm your lawyer, not your homegirl. Best- PD