Dear Client,
You're charged with stopping several lone male drivers outside of a gay club for the purpose of engaging in prostitution. The paperwork tells me that you're a 47 year old man and this is your first arrest. I don't know why, but I believe you when you tell me you weren't stopping them, they were stopping you and you were just waiting outside the club for your friends. I also appreciate you being so forthcoming with me as this is a pretty awkward situation for both of us, I'm sure. Signed- PD
P.S. That's a really nice dress you have on.
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